


everyone loves a good jazz-square (except they really don't)

by artsyspikedhair



Category: High School Musical (Movies)
Genre: Eating Disorders, Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lowercase, Self-Esteem Issues, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-05 21:21:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11586426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyspikedhair/pseuds/artsyspikedhair
Summary: sharpay weighs 105 pounds. ryan has never been better than her at anything, except jazz squares. but this, this he could do.





	everyone loves a good jazz-square (except they really don't)

sharpay weighs 105 pounds. 

ryan has never been better than her at anything, except jazz squares. but this, this he could do. 

the two of them got the leads in romeo and juliet sophomore year. ryan wouldn't have even auditioned for romeo if sharpay hadn't insisted. he wanted to be mercutio. but what ryan wanted has never really mattered much. 

sharpay insisted they practice the kissing scene outside of rehearsal. ryan felt that was unnecessary and weird, and "you're my sister! i don't want to kiss you more than i have to on opening night." 

"ryan, you don't have any other friends. i am the only one who will ever even want to kiss you. and if you still refuse, i will drop you like a rock and tell everyone about how my brother is a queer. " 

ryan was shocked. sharpay did not usually threaten him like this, so he, well, he let her kiss him. it was not pleasant. he came to dread the end of rehearsal, because then he would have to go home and their own private 'rehearsal' would start. it was not really about romeo and juliet. sharpay was always on top. 

sharpay had her eye on troy bolton since freshman year. the friday before what theater kids call hell week, she actually asked him out. he declined, politely as he could. 

that night, sharpay insisted that the two of them should do what romeo and juliet did to consummate their marriage. her thought process was, if she couldn't have troy, she could at least have someone who wouldn't say no to her. 

ryan did, at first. "sharpay, they never show that scene on stage, so why should we..." ryan was terrified. he had never hated his sister more, even though she had been violating him for weeks. 

"it will enhance our acting, ry. c'mon, you don't really want the entire east high basketball team knowing about how you masturbate to troy's freshman year book picture, do you?" 

ryan did no such thing, but sharpay knew he had liked troy, and anything she said would hold more weight than what he said, because he couldn't prove a negative. he hadn't said he'd do it, but sharpay began kssing him anyway. ryan's entire body went tense. he never kissed back. sharpay's hands were going lower and suddenly his pants were off, and he didn't want this, rumors be damned, so he tried to make a noise, to push sharpay off him, but she was faster and her hands went up to his windpipe. "don't think i won't kill you." ryan nodded, unable to talk. her hands went back down, and ryan's entire being wanted nothing more than for him to be unable to have an erection, but sensation is sensation and his body betrayed him. ryan felt dirty and disgusting, as sharpay put a condom on him, and undressed her bottom half. she began the assault, and would not end it until she orgasmed. it went on for minutes that felt like decades. ryan could talk now, and all he said was "nononononononono" until it was over. 

ryan didn't eat for four days after that. his mind was racing, thinking of how perverted and disgusting he was for letting her fuck him. he had committed incest. he didn't deserve to eat, he didn't deserve anything. but on the fifth day he realized if he didn't eat he might pass out on stage, so he made himself an entire pan of brownies and ate them in one sitting. 

this balancing act of starving and then bingeing and then starving again lasted through junior year. ryan was secretly thrilled when they lost the part to troy and gabriella. he knew without the practice excuse, sharpay wouldn't touch him. ryan didn't want anyone to touch him ever again. he had come out himself partly so sharpay could not use his sexuality against him. 

that summer, troy befriended him. ryan knew it was likely just for scholarship money, but he wanted friends so badly he didn't care. gabriella befriended him as well, or so he thought. it turned out she was using him to manipulate troy. ryan felt bad on troy's behalf, and made an effort to let troy know he had no part in her scheme. 

ryan noticed the pressure on troy to fufill everyone's desires but his own. ryan knew what self esteem issues looked like, because he had them. he had gotten hospitalized the first two months of senior year after he had fainted at one of his parents' dinner parties. he didn't tell the doctors about his sister's manipulation of him. he was still ashamed, and he had nightmares about her. he flinched at touch. 

ryan stayed troy's friend, knowing he needed someone on his side with no ulterior motive. well, almost none. ryan still had a crush on troy, but considering he couldn't kiss anyone without memories of his sister attacking him, the crush would never amount to anything. when gabriella dumped troy before the prom, troy called ryan. ryan talked him out of driving across the country. "gabriella doesn't even respect you enough to come see you for prom, troy. she played mind games with you over the summer. love should not involve so many sacrifices on your part and none on hers." 

troy began crying. "everyone loves her, and i feel like they value our relationship more than she did. i don't even know who i am without her." 

"you're troy bolton. you're an actor and a singer and a good friend with awesome hair who i would gladly take to prom with me if you still want to go and need a date. you're still a person without her, troy, just like i am still ryan evans even when my sister isn't around to control my life." 

"yeah, i'll take you up on the prom offer. thanks. so sharpay's pretty bad, huh?" 

"yeah, sophomore year she had sex with me because she said it would help us be better actors in romeo and juliet." ryan had never told anyone before. he tried to laugh it off, but he was terrified just remembering it.

"what the hell? did you want her to?" 

"no! i am a lot of things, but a willing participant in incest is not one of them." 

"did she know?" 

"she threatened me with blackmail." 

"dude, that's rape. your sister should be in jail." 

"it's not rape, i'm a guy. sharpay's just a control freak." 

"guys can get raped, ryan. i watched a lifetime movie about it." 

"really?" 

"yeah." 

ryan didn't talk to his sister for the rest of the year. he danced the night away with troy, finally comfortable with someone touching him. he ended up getting a scholarship to julliard, and, hundreds of miles away from his sister, who was still living at home, the 105 pounds that lay on top of him his high school years finally disappeared.


End file.
